So this is my fourth week working from home. For many Nashvillians, they did not see this coming the way that I did because my entire family is in California. Most of them in Oakland experienced a Shelter-In-Place before any other area had even heard of it. I knew what was on the horizon but like many of us, I was not prepared for what was coming the next few weeks and it is taking a toll on me mentally. Oh, and all the eating is trying to take a toll on me physically lol. All, and all, I was desperate to find something to make my life feel normal again.. well as normal as it could feel.

After a week or so at home, I started to experience chest pain, it felt like someone had kicked me with two feet in my chest. Now, I didn’t have any restricted breathing or any Rona symptoms but as the pain got worse I began to get scared. I planned on calling my doctor on that Friday if it did not get any better but it was starting to keep me from sleeping, so on a Tuesday or Wednesday, I reached out to my PCP. She told me to take 800mg of ibuprofen and use a heating pad. To my luck, it worked.

After the chest pain, I started to have trouble sleeping, being comfortable while sleeping, staying asleep and even falling asleep. I found that I was staying up later than normal but waking up no later than normal. In addition, I was starting to grind my teeth and make fists in my sleep again. I used to grind my teeth and clench my fists in my sleep due to stress and/or anxiety but I have been diligent in managing my anxiety.

I felt myself sinking into the verge of depression. Prior to the pandemic, I was a part-time college student, a full-time business analyst, had an active social life and was working out 5 days a week. My life was thriving. Then boom, everything came to a screeching halt kicking up all of this dust and I was spiraling out of control. My anxiety shot through the roof almost instantly hence the chest pain, the teeth grinding, and the fist clenching. I needed a way to get control of my life because the dust was beginning to consume me. It was as if things were moving in different directions and speeds all around me and i could not get any of them to stop.

What was I going to do?

First, I made an appointment with my therapist because well you know therapy is important, and knowing when to ask for help is also important.

Second, I needed a plan and this plan had to be finding a sense of normalcy. My biggest issues were time is moving way too fast and I feel like I don’t accomplish anything. It seemed like time was in control and I NEEDED the control back or else it was going to be bad. So I decided I needed to create a schedule, get the tools necessary, and get creative.

I still haven’t sat down and completed my schedule but I promise I will tomorrow (April 6, 2020). I know I need to get on a health normal-like routine. Work out, food, work, studying, entertainment, settling in (recently moved), garden bae, blogging and creative time.

I will let you know how all of this goes.

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