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the rona

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It’s been a while… I have just had a severe lack of motivation to process any of my thoughts to put them down on paper. But, here I am back where I belong, doing what always seems to feel the most normal to me, writing my thoughts. I have been feeling completely off lately, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even financially. It wasn’t the same feeling I had late last year before my bout with depression kicked up. This is more of a fallen off the bandwagon type feeling. I started the year off eating healthy, working out, I might not have lost a ton of weight but I was about 15 full pounds down and of course, I have gained that back. Although I have saved more money than I had in a long time I have had to dip into those savings because I was kicking way too…

Since Big Rona has been here my days are filled with either shorts or joggers and always a t-shirt. To be completely honest, I have never been an eager to get dressed up person. I actually love joggers, sweat pants, shorts and t-shirts, it has been my happy fashion place. Yet, here I am during the Rona eager to get dressed, even if it is just the grocery store. I find myself putting on jeans to do the simplest of tasks. Although, I love my casual wear, it has been worn out! Since Big Rona has been visiting I have had a couple times when I absolutely needed to get dressed, and as excited as I am to put on a real outfit I wanted to maintain some of my casual relax wear. I had a couple reasons to get dressed; a funeral and work training, despite being specific events…

So this is my fourth week working from home. For many Nashvillians, they did not see this coming the way that I did because my entire family is in California. Most of them in Oakland experienced a Shelter-In-Place before any other area had even heard of it. I knew what was on the horizon but like many of us, I was not prepared for what was coming the next few weeks and it is taking a toll on me mentally. Oh, and all the eating is trying to take a toll on me physically lol. All, and all, I was desperate to find something to make my life feel normal again.. well as normal as it could feel. After a week or so at home, I started to experience chest pain, it felt like someone had kicked me with two feet in my chest. Now, I didn’t have any restricted…