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Love, Boundaries, and Being Unapologetically You: A Journey to Requited Love
Hey there, beautiful souls! Welcome to a space where we dive deep into the messy, beautiful, and sometimes downright confusing world of love. I’m thrilled to embark on this journey with you as we explore what it truly means to receive the kind of love we give out – unapologetically, authentically, and without reservation.
In the excerpt above, we’re taken on a heartfelt exploration of the desire for requited love – love that flows back to us just as freely as we give it. It’s a journey filled with introspection, self-discovery, and a whole lot of real talk.
We’re reminded that while everyone won’t love us the way we want to be loved, we have the power to set boundaries that protect our hearts and souls. Whether it’s asking the Universe to remove toxic energies or simply recognizing when someone isn’t meant to be in our lives, we’re reclaiming our space and demanding the love we deserve.
But hey, this isn’t just about romantic love – it’s about love in all its forms. From friendships to family dynamics, we’re exploring what it means to show up for each other with love, respect, and trust.
So, let’s set aside the love languages and attachment styles for a moment and focus on how love feels. Let’s bask in the warmth, safety, and joy that comes from being truly seen and valued for who we are. And most importantly, let’s embrace the journey of living in our feelings, rather than overthinking them.
Are you ready to dive in? Because I sure am! Let’s navigate this wild ride together and discover what it truly means to love and be loved in return.
Yearning for Requited Love: Embracing Boundaries and Authenticity
I want requited love, in everything. Whether it’s in my friendships, my family, or especially romantic relationships. I want to know that the love and effort I put into someone else is being given to me in return. I may be foolish but it’s one of those things that I think I can have. Because everyone isn’t going to be the same, everyone isn’t going to love you how you want to be loved or love you back and they’re not required to do so.
But, I can set boundaries to protect myself from others and myself. I can ask God or the Universe or whoever to remove those who aren’t supposed to be here because I deserve what I put out. And, if I love myself as much as I put love into others I need to set better boundaries and better requirements to exist in my space when I give someone in my heart.
I don’t need perfection and I don’t want the ideal. I want requited love from everyone in my world. Love for me can only exist in my world when people love me back. It can never be because I love someone and they don’t love me at all. I want to know that we show up in love the same. We don’t have to show it the same way but it must always be in love.
It’s more than being able to rely on someone when you need them. It’s knowing that you consciously choose to do life together with me, whether you are my brother, friend, or partner. It is knowing that someone appreciates, respects, and trusts the love you give them. It’s them knowing that I am doing the same in return. Not because we are getting anything in return but because we know the other person deserves it for simply existing as they are.
I ask God constantly to remove anyone who isn’t meant for me, anyone who means me harm, anyone who isn’t showing up in our relationship with love, anyone who doesn’t deserve my space, and anyone who is not supposed to be here. Then I wait to see what happens.
If you are ever struggling with figuring out who is supposed to be in your life, your high power, God, Allah, the Universe, or whatever suits you to get rid of anyone that’s not supposed to be in your life. Treat it like an affirmation. It is something you say every day. It is something you put out into the universe or to God to say I want better for me and I’m ready for better in my life.
Unlike what we’ve been taught by fairytales and life, love is not perfect. It won’t always be forgiveness. It is not always I’m sorry. And it is not always in the way we want it. So, sometimes we have to see through what we think Love should be to see what love is. Because love looks from different the various people we are receiving it from.
Therefore, those people have to pay attention to you to not only love you in a way that’s true to their nature but also in a way you can see. Because that is love. That is where the love is rooted. If love was rooted in just being convenient is it truly love? No.
Love is in a lot of ways, inconvenient. Love is going out of your way to be new, to be different, or to work harder. That something in this person or this thing that I love requires me to be better than I am right now. It requires introspection and empathy. And if they don’t inspire that and you, do you truly love them? If you don’t inspire that in them, do they truly love you? I’m not asking this simply for romantic love I’m asking this in all the aspects of life in all relationship dynamics.
Let’s take a moment away from all the things that we’ve learned from the Internet and books we’ve read about love languages, attachment styles, love and communication. Let’s focus on how it feels. Let’s find something that feels like love, that feels warm, safe, happy, joyful, and inconvenient. Let’s sit in that and determine if that’s where your love should reside because that is your choice.
Focus on feeling things more than simply thinking things. Fortunately for you all, that last sentence isn’t for you it was for me. I focus so much on thinking through how I feel instead of living in how I feel maybe if I spend more time living and how I feel I’d be better at giving love and being loved in return. I do know the things that I don’t want and I do know the idea of what I do but I want to take time out to stop thinking about it and simply be in it maybe things will turn out differently.
Practical Tips for Setting Boundaries
Setting boundaries is essential for cultivating healthy relationships and preserving your well-being. Here are some practical tips to help you establish and maintain boundaries in your life:
- Identify Your Limits: Take some time to reflect on your needs, values, and personal boundaries. What behaviors or actions are unacceptable to you? What do you need to feel respected and valued in your relationships?
- Communicate Clearly: When setting boundaries, it’s important to communicate them clearly and assertively. Use “I” statements to express your needs and concerns without blaming or accusing others. For example, “I feel uncomfortable when you make jokes about my appearance.”
- Be Firm and Consistent: Once you’ve set a boundary, stick to it. Don’t feel guilty or apologize for enforcing your boundaries. Consistency is key to establishing healthy boundaries and earning respect from others.
- Practice Self-Care: Prioritize self-care activities that help you recharge and maintain your emotional well-being. This could include practicing mindfulness, engaging in hobbies you enjoy, or setting aside time for relaxation.
- Seek Support: Surround yourself with supportive friends, family members, or a therapist who can help you navigate boundary-setting and provide encouragement along the way.
Remember, setting boundaries is not about controlling or manipulating others; it’s about taking care of yourself and advocating for your own needs. By setting clear and consistent boundaries, you create space for healthy and fulfilling relationships to thrive.
Embracing Love: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Authentic Connection
As we wrap up our exploration of requited love and the importance of setting boundaries, I’m reminded of the power that comes from embracing our authentic selves. Throughout this journey, we’ve delved into the depths of our hearts, navigating the complexities of relationships and the unyielding desire for love that resonates in every corner of our lives.
But amidst the longing and the yearning, there lies a profound truth – the most fulfilling love we can experience is the love we give ourselves. By honoring our worth, setting boundaries, and demanding the respect we deserve, we pave the way for genuine connections to blossom.
So, let’s carry forward the lessons learned, the insights gained, and the unwavering belief in our own worthiness. Let’s continue to seek out love that nourishes our souls and lights up our lives, knowing that we are deserving of nothing less.
Thank you for joining me on this journey of self-discovery and authentic connection. May we always remember that love, in all its forms, begins within.
References
- Cloud, H., & Townsend, J. (1992). Boundaries: When to say yes, how to say no to take control of your life. Zondervan.
- Lancer, D. (2018). How to set healthy boundaries: 10 examples + PDF worksheets. Retrieved from https://www.michellefarris.com/worksheets-for-boundaries/
