Ya’ll, I used to be so spiteful. I would try to teach people lessons by using spite.

Growing up I was the youngest kid on my block. Now it was never more than 6 kids total but for most of my childhood, it was 3 of us. My brother is the oldest, my neighbor being closer in age to him and me trailing my brother by a whole ass 5 years. You already know that most of it were spent with me being “too little” to do anything. But you see, I was mostly the brains behind our operations. So, when we had creative ideas we wanted to explore I was the spark despite being “too little.” Storytime!

We decided to build a lemonade stand and the guy who owned the corner store down the hill said that we could set up outside the store. We built this dope ass lemonade stand out of wood. It looked like one side of a house that had a window with a seal that we could sell out of. It was amazing but after WE built it, they told me I was “too little,” to sell lemonade with them. I was so angry that I destroyed the entire lemonade stand.

On one end I believe that if I couldn’t sell lemonade they couldn’t either but truthfully, it was spite. I wanted to teach them a lesson, I wanted them to hurt the way that they hurt me. Unfortunately, I carried that trait well into my 20s until I unlearned being spiteful as a response to getting my feeling hurt.

I spent so much energy over the years trying to hurt people as much as they hurt me. I thought I could teach people a lesson. Learning not to do this was one of the biggest things I learned in my wellness journey. I don’t specifically remember what happened that taught me this lesson. But, what I can tell you is what clicked for me.

I realized that when I was trying to teach someone a lesson, they never received the lesson. It just never impacted them enough to be a lesson. This is because my lesson was never on time or in a way that had any significant impact on the other person. The Universe (or God) is the only one who can teach someone a lesson. Anything I was doing was childish picking. 

Now, I do whatever is in my control because I am the board. I leave all the teaching lessons to the Universe. A lesson may not always come, it may not come when you think it should come, and it may not be in a way that you think is important but know when the Universe does it, it is always on time.

Sometimes the lesson shows up as a rainy day that you get a flat tire on your way to an interview the day that you happen to be running late. It may not always be an eye for an eye. Just know it comes when it is supposed to in a way that it will be received. Some cultures call this Karma.

In this, I not only learned that I cannot teach people lessons but I also need to be the best version of myself in spite of how others treat me so that bad Karma doesn’t find me. It can be a cold day when bad Karma shows up at your front door. 

So, be mindful of being spiteful to others. It opens your own life up to negativity, it means you are allowing that person to control your peace, it could subject you to future Karma and it is not your job. You will never be able to teach a lesson the way the Universe can. Make peace with the things in your control and move on.

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