This morning I had an 8:30 am flight. As always, I pack at the last minute, finish up my chores at home at the last minute, and hope I make it out the door with everything I need. Someone, please remind me not to book a morning flight in the middle of the week, during week 5 of the semester, and a pandemic! This shit had my anxiety at an all-time high but I thought I could pull it off, and, I did, I hope. Less than 5 minutes from my house anxiety came over me like a tidal wave and I thought, “I feel like I forgot something.” I swear any time I travel this thought crosses my mind as I begin to leave my house. Yet, each time I tuck that anxiety down by saying, “Whatever you don’t have, oh well, or just buy it when you get…
I believe in the Law of Attraction as a means to speak to the universe. I was first introduced to this by a friend who told me to read The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. That book teaches you the concept of the Law of Attraction and gives you actionable things to do to use the Law of Attraction in your life through manifestation. I know many of you have heard that thoughts become things, but what does that really mean. I can think all day and every day that I want a million dollars but a million dollars does not just fall into my lap. So, what’s the deal? Well there is more than just thinking about something for it to come into fruition. I am going to give you 4 tips to help you attract the things that you want. When you start to use these tips start small,…
Being a woman who is Black and gay is nothing like being a woman, being a Black woman, or even simply being Black. Adversity comes with being a woman, being Black, and especially being a Black woman. Unlike Black men, Black women deal with adversity from men of all colors including Black men. Unlike white women, Black women deal with adversity because they are Black. Adding a dash of gay in the mix changes the game because not only do you deal with adversity for being Black and a woman, now you deal with adversity from Black women simply because you like the same sex. Do we need to make a list? Adversity can come from some or all of these places; non-Black men, non-Black women, black men, and straight Black women. Although there is a lot of adversity to talk about, let’s focus on the most important. As Black…
Being in control of your life is a tough task and is not for the faint of heart. It takes facing hard truths and opening yourself up to criticism. A good place to start learning how to be better at being yourself is through reading and learning from other people. As you all may know, I am finishing my bachelor’s degree and in one of my classes this semester I was required to read a book called The Art of Possibility by Benjamin Zander & Rosamund Stone Zander. This book talked about a number of ways to change your approach to life but one that stuck out to me the most is “Being the Board.” The idea of “Being the Board” is what the Zanders called the hardest of the principles to learn but the most important. The Art of Possibility was written by Benjamin Zander who is a conductor…
I was born and raised in Oakland, CA but I left right after I turned 18 and haven’t looked back. My brother still lives there at one point he was considering moving in with me in Nashville, TN. So when talking to my dad about it he said, “If your brother is going to move there, make him sleep on the couch because if you make his life there too comfortable he will never move out.” Another time I was talking to him about work and I can’t remember the specifics but his response was basically, you have to be uncomfortable sometimes to get what you want. Sometimes he would even tell me that I had to eat crow, which is exceptionally difficult for me, a person who always feels like their best isn’t good enough. Dad always had these little gems that would ripple into a much louder message…
The Me Too movement has opened up the conversation about sexual harassment, rape and rape culture. For centuries, women have been taken advantage of by men, but there is a group we never discuss and their contribution to rape culture and sexual harassment. Oftentimes, women forget that they too can be predatory and not solely the victim. As a lesbian, straight women have been predatory to me and I’ve witnessed them do it to other lesbians. My friend Mimi said, “They always become predators once they hear I am gay, from the touching to the rubbing and it’s always I’ve never kissed a girl before, they think it’s okay because they are also women but the shit is mighty uncomfortable. I’ve had women literally kiss me without my permission because it’s what girls do.” Straight women believe that it is harmless to push their fantasies on lesbian women but it…
Growing does not come without its pains. As we get older we forget the lessons we have learned from our adolescence apply in our adulthood. For many of us life changes are normal and frequent, oftentimes more frequent than we would like but with life changes comes associated challenges and uncomfortabilities. We are cornered into making hard decisions, uncomfortable choices, and finding strength or even courage when we don’t believe we have it. When a lot of these changes happen in a short period of time, they resemble growing pains much like when your body or bones would ache during a growth spurt. This year has had an eventful turn of events that would close out the decade in a way that was the most inevitable. In the early years of the decade, the summer of 2012, I had a conversation with one of my close friends which would be…
Over the last year and a half I have been pursuing the completion of my collegiate degree. Just know many celebrities had their big break well into their 30’s and even 40’s. You do not have to follow the standards that society may push about when you should do something. Just know it’s never too late if you really want it. Recently I had to write a college entrance essay for Belmont University and this is what I had to say: If life is rooted in how we classify who we are or even by statistical findings we would live in a world where our choices could be predicted and automated. Despite knowing statistics and classifications hold value, I respectfully disagree that they define the course of my life or who I am. Statistically, the course of my life would look very different, I would have chosen a different college…
I have several reasons why I do not want to be monogamous, which I will explain further into this but first let’s think about the information and history of the idea of monogamy. Monogamy is the practice or state of being married to one person at a time. The practice or state of having a sexual relationship with only one partner. Although we don’t know where it started the general idea is that lower ranking males started using the alternative strategy of pursuit of one woman, whereas, the higher ranking males either had many wives or many concubines. This in return made women feel better as they were the only ones receiving attention, love, protection and more from a suitor. In essence, this was a concept created by men to benefit men because women were not historically polygamous. Polygamy is marriage with more than one spouse. When a man is…