It’s been a while… I have just had a severe lack of motivation to process any of my thoughts to put them down on paper. But, here I am back where I belong, doing what always seems to feel the most normal to me, writing my thoughts.I have been feeling completely off lately, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even financially. It wasn’t the same feeling I had late last year before my bout with depression kicked up. This is more of a fallen off the bandwagon type feeling.I started the year off eating healthy, working out, I might not have lost a ton of weight but I was about 15 full pounds down and of course, I have gained that back. Although I have saved more money than I had in a long time I have had to dip into those savings because I was kicking way too hard since…
Mental health is a major component of our everyday lives. Despite knowing how important mental health is to us every day, I would minimize how much it affects us daily until it happened to me. Like many people, the idea is that oh just smile more, bad days won’t last, pray about it, or even some other approach to feeling better. Although many people believe beating mental health challenges are as easy to fix as tending to a small cut, there are many people who don’t believe the challenges exist at all. Again, I was the former who thought you could just easily process through these challenges and boy did my body make me a believer. I had a bout with PTSD from a bad car accident, which truthfully still plagues me when I am in situations like my car accident. I’ve even experienced depression. Yet, I battled with anxiety…
Since Big Rona has been here my days are filled with either shorts or joggers and always a t-shirt. To be completely honest, I have never been an eager to get dressed up person. I actually love joggers, sweat pants, shorts and t-shirts, it has been my happy fashion place. Yet, here I am during the Rona eager to get dressed, even if it is just the grocery store. I find myself putting on jeans to do the simplest of tasks. Although, I love my casual wear, it has been worn out! Since Big Rona has been visiting I have had a couple times when I absolutely needed to get dressed, and as excited as I am to put on a real outfit I wanted to maintain some of my casual relax wear. I had a couple reasons to get dressed; a funeral and work training, despite being specific events…
So this is my fourth week working from home. For many Nashvillians, they did not see this coming the way that I did because my entire family is in California. Most of them in Oakland experienced a Shelter-In-Place before any other area had even heard of it. I knew what was on the horizon but like many of us, I was not prepared for what was coming the next few weeks and it is taking a toll on me mentally. Oh, and all the eating is trying to take a toll on me physically lol. All, and all, I was desperate to find something to make my life feel normal again.. well as normal as it could feel.After a week or so at home, I started to experience chest pain, it felt like someone had kicked me with two feet in my chest. Now, I didn’t have any restricted breathing…